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Category: health

01/15/08 06:40 - ID#42894

Stupid Fucking Doctor

There have been a lot of 'ZOMG my fucking doctor is the lamest lulz' posts over the past couple of months. You would think there are no competent doctors in Buffalo from reading it. So, when I do have a positive experience with a doctor I will let you all know.

But in the meantime...

what a fucking idiot doctor. I spent all of seven minutes with the guy. He walks in, checks my heartbeat and the sound of my lungs, asks if I need any scripts refilled and leaves to write them up.

I didn't have the opportunity to say something like "oh, and while you are here can you please check this giant infected gash oozing pussy slime" or "oh, I got stabbed last night and I stitched it myself, care to take a look?". Just wham, bam, that will be $20 for your copay ma'am.

He doesn't ask me about my diet but proceeds to tell me not to eat things I haven't had in years, like white bread or pasta. This would be like telling a vegetarian to cut red meat out of their diet.

But he pulled out a real show stopper at the end. Apparently, I am too fat and need to lose some weight. Yup, he looks at my height, looks at my weight, walks over to a BMI chart on the wall and declares me over-weight. He is using a useless metric that would declare the beefiest of body builders as obese as the chunkiest opera tenor. (Muscle = fat) = stupid metric used by stupid doctors.

This is the Keleida health place on Hertel. The last time I was there I got a lecture about the use of condoms. When I told the doctor I was monogamously coupled she said I should still use condoms. Because, you know, all gay guys sleep around.

grumph
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